Sunday, December 12, 2010

Free will

What is free will and do I have any at all?  This question came up at a recent book club meeting.  It is a very good question and I still do not have a clear answer to it.  Maybe the whole purpose of my life is to answer this one question as best I can.
I was created against my will.  As far as I know, I did not request to be created.   I use the word “created” because I am sure that I did not just “poof” appear in the year 2010 on this planet in the state of Texas USA.   If I am not satisfied with my life, too bad, there is no returns department where I can bring my creation receipt and demand “I want my money back”. (Meat Loaf, Bat out of hell II)  I exist and I have to deal with it.
I was born against my will.  As far as I know, I did not ask to be born.  For about thirteen years I had no choice in housing, meals, clothing, and worship.  I was raised in a roman cult of j-zeus.  (They worship the son of the Greek god zeus, aka jesus)  I did not ask the cult’s priests to indoctrinate me in the roman catholic way of worshiping the man god j-zeus.  I vaguely remember being asked my opinion of which High School my parents were going to choose for me.  Of course, it was understood that I would be attending a roman catholic school and eventually become one of the cult’s priests.  It was not until sometime during the year 2007 CE, (Common Error), that I came to the realization that j-zeus was a myth just like Santa Claus.   They, j-zeus and Santa Claus, are both based on real historical persons, but over the centuries their stories have become greatly embellished.  One can fly around the world visiting every home in one night and the other is god.  Another huge difference between Santa Claus and j-zeus is in the area of the follower’s belief system.  If you do not believe in Santa Claus the worst thing that will happen is a lump of coal in your stocking.  On the other hand, if you do not believe in j-zeus, you are condemned to ceaseless torture and punishment.  I am sure there are people in this world that would find that reason enough to NOT believe in j-zeus. (Event #35938)
I live and die against my will.  I did not ask my wife to wake me up this morning nor did I set an alarm clock.  I regained consciousness and realized that I am still living in Dallas Texas.  My body kept itself alive while I slept.  I have read articles about people who have some degree of control over the autonomic nervous system.   I am not one of those people.  My heart, lung, bowels, etc. operate without my direct consent.    One could argue that I have the free will to commute murder (Suicide is a “nice” word for self-murder), but death is not a choice.
I will die against my will. One way or the other, death comes to us all.  There is only one way out of this world.  I have spent 90% of my life so far in a religious belief system that I did not create, and I have dedicated the last three years in finding my own path.  I have come to the conclusion that I have a creator.  There is only one all-powerful creator.  I use the word “One” in the sense that there is nothing else besides the creator.  The entire universe, with all the planets, stars, galaxies, black holes, forces, powers, gods etc. exists within and by the will of the creator.  Humans have used many different combinations of phonemic symbols (aka words) to describe the creator.  George Lucas uses the term “the force”.  If you were to write out on a strip of paper “the name” of the almighty infinite creator, the strip of paper would not fit into the known universe.  I prefer using the term Almighty.
I am required to give an account of my life to the almighty creator against my will.   (“Do not let your evil inclination assure you that the grave is a refuge” Pirkei Avos chapter4-29b)  I believe that when my body dies, the “I” that is the real me is sent back to the creator for an evaluation. (Call it a judgment if you want).  I consider the almighty more of a Parent than a strict creator/judge. I have made “mistakes” (some use the word “sin”) in the past and I am sure I will make a few more mistakes before my body dies.  When the judge points out all of my imperfections I hope to be able to say “daddy, please, just give me another chance to get it right”. 
                My “free will” is very limited. I can choice to preparing for my evaluation, or accept what others tell me about how to live.  I am currently trying to understand what the almighty considers ethical and moral behavior.  I completely dismiss the ethical teachings from all denominations of the “cult of j-zeus” (aka christianity).  There may be some truths in there, but there is too much crap to sift through.  Two of the books I am reading currently deal with moral behavior.  One is called Pirkei Avos referred to as “ethics of our fathers “and the other is “The Ethical Slut” by D. Easton. There is a very pronounced contrast between these two viewpoints. It is interesting to compare today’s ideas of moral behavior with that of 2000 years ago.  The more things change, the more they stay the same. (Bon Jovi)
Hoss